I blinked... and then I missed it!

So here it is...

August 28th and it definitley feels like Fall here in my little corner of the world. The Summer has gone by so quickly that I honestly think that I blinked... and then I missed it! Of course, the rainy weather for 5 weeks didn't help.

So... lots has happened with our family since I last posted... which OMG... has been in forever.

I've been so busy applying for new jobs, I totally haven't had time to write anything!!

Yes, you heard me correctly. I went for my first job interview in forever yesterday. I have applied for 12 jobs in two weeks. That's a full-time job all in itself! I forgot how tough it is out there in the "real" world.

This new position that I have applied for is a similar role to what I do right now, only selling different products... in a different CITY!! The products that I will be selling (if I get the job, that is) are those that people HAVE to have because the Federal Government says so. It's a bit easier to sell products that you are required by Law to have... or so I think.

So yes, you heard me right... another City!! IF all goes well and I land the job, our family WILL be moving. We have been looking at doing this for quite a few years... my seven yr old is scared to death about making new friends, which pulls at my heart strings, but all-in-all, things will be better for our family if we are able to make this move.

So... I apply for 12 jobs and get one interview... so far. It's not great when you have a potential employer on the phone, calling to set up an interview and your two and a half year old is standing beside you screaming "M-O-M-M-Y!!! GET OFF THE PHONE, I NEED YOU!" However, the employer didn't seem to mind. Phew!

Before the phone call I was reading over the job description that I have printed off of the internet and reading the name of the person that you have to send your resume to for this particular position. I recognize the name but for the life of me, can't remember from where? Considering it's been a long time since I've had any contacts with people in this particular city (other than family and friends). I give up. Then... the phone rings... and as I'm setting up the appointment with Baby O so nicely screaming bloody murder in my ear, it hits me... once I hear this man's voice, I know exactly who it is!! Funny!! Anyhow, I can't exchange this information with him due to my frantically trying to get the man off of the phone.

I arrived yesterday morning for my interview and have to wait for 10 minutes while another potential candidate is having his interivew. There's nothing worse than coming out of the interview (or going in) and staring your competition right in the face!! Anyhow, the guy leaves (who btw... looks like a baby) and it's my turn.

(Backing up just for a minute... the person calling for the interview wasn't actually the Employer, he is a consultant, hired by the Employer, to interview and hire someone for them... he also does sales training for the company, etc.)

Okay... it's my turn...

I walk into the room and automatically stick out my hand to give the man a handshake greeting... his first comments? "Oh, your a hand-shaker!" Then it hit me again... I know this man because I took part in a seminar that he was the guest speaker for just this past Spring for one of our Networking groups here in my little corner of the world.

One of the big things that he said in his seminar was that "people are fazing out the shaking of hands due to the spread of virus', swine flu, etc.," and that he never initiates a handshake anymore because it makes some people feel very uncomfortable. I think this is a little off-the-wall considering a lot of the training that I have had makes you think that you have the "seal the deal" with a hand-shake.

Anyhow, when he made the "hand-shaking" comment to me, I laughed and said, "OH, I forgot... it's just a habit... I remember you saying in your seminar..."

Ohhh... this grabbed his attention... "you've been to one of my seminars?"

"Why, yes I have actually... remember when you spoke at...?"

"Oh, yes... and you and I spoke afterwards, etc, etc."

What a great way to start an interview.

This set a very relaxed tone for the rest of the interview. He then provided me with information that is very lucrative to the position and after 2 minutes expressed that I would be "without a doubt moving on to the next step." YAY for me!!

I got a call from a very close friend the other day who knows that I am looking for a new position. She said, "you know Momof3... there may be a position here.... send me your resume and I will hand deliver it to my Manager, etc... in order to get a position in today's marketplace, it's all about who you know." I really believe this... it's sad but true!!

I left my job interview laughing, while bumping into the next two candidates who were sitting in the waiting area, shaking in their boots.

I think that it also helps that I am already accustomed to this business and how it 'works'. A lot of newbies don't really know how hard you have to work in order to be in a position like this... and... how rewarding that hard work can be!! However... being accustomed to the business can also be detrimental because a lot of companies like to train you to do things the way that 'they' want you to do them... it's hard to brake old habits!!

So, I'll just wait and see. Phase II was an online sales profile, which was sent to me and completed lastnight. Phase III is a meeting with the recruiter and the actual employer. If all went well with my sales profile, I'll move forward. The waiting game is sooo crazy!

I'm excited by the thought of moving somewhere with more opportunities for the kids (especially for S, since they have such a better program for him in this new City than what he is getting for services here!!!!!)... and more opportunity for us! It's a much needed change.

Keep your fingers and toes crossed that all goes well and that one of those young boys shaking in their boots doesn't get the position over me!! :)

"You can heal your life," by Louise Hay

For the first time since I read "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne, I finally finished another book. This is a big accomplishment for me!!

Having three boys, working full time and just being plain tired, I've had a hard time following through with anything for the last seven years!!

Last night, I finished reading "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay.

The teachings of Hay are much like the teachings in The Secret, however, she gives you more to work with. She has exercises that she recommends that you do on a daily basis and tells you exactly how to do them. I need someone to hold my hand a lot when it comes to stuff like this.

Her main message is that you need to not only talk positive, you need to think positive because "what we think in our mind, comes true for us." I know, I know... it's hard to do on a daily basis. Negative thoughts come into every one's mind at some point in time, but when they do, you just have to push them out and say to yourself, "there are no more negative thoughts coming into my mind."

Have you ever been sitting alone, thinking about someone that perhaps you haven't seen in a long time? Then, a day or two later, you run into that person on the street? Or they send you an email? Even call you on the phone? Our first response to this is "I was just thinking about you the other day."

What this really is, is the Universe (laws of attraction) bringing the two of you together.

This same thing happened to me not too long ago. I was thinking about S starting preschool in the Fall. I remembered that when A went to preschool, the teacher contacted me in the Spring to have him come and visit for a morning. Then, over the Summer, she hand delivered a welcome package to our home. When we were on vacation, I was thinking... "I hope that Mrs. Early Bird doesn't come to our house to deliver the package for preschool while we are away, I must get in touch with her upon my return."

The second night after my return from vacation, I was sitting, folding laundry when my phone rang. It was a friend who asked me if I had gotten a phone call today about preschool. I said, "no" and she continued to advise me that there was not going to be any preschool this year as the Teacher had been diagnosed with Cancer and was going to need to take this year off. However, there was another school who would be hiring another helper in order to accommodate some more children and that I should contact her right away. When I hung up the phone, I was stunned. First of all, to hear that this dear sweet lady has been diagnosed with Cancer. But second of all, to think that, "I was just thinking about her the other day."

I read The Secret in January 2007 after my third son was born. I was at a point in my life where I really didn't know where to turn. Here I was, at home with three kids and wondering if I should go back to work full time, or stay at home.

I love my children, but I really don't think that staying home with them is an option for me. I find that I am so quick tempered when we are together all of the time. One main reason for this though is that we live in a small community away from our family members who are at least two hours away. We (I) don't get a break from the daily chaos, unless I work outside of my home.

My children will most likely concur that mommy is much happier when she gets out of the house for a least a couple of hours during the day. However, I am still guilt ridden by the fact that I have these feelings of contempt when I'm at home. I really do love my kids.

Anyhow, I've gone a little off track.

So I read The Secret, put up a vision board and started to look at the world in a whole different way.

Having just finished this new book... I see things even more differently... which is really amazing because I didn't think that I could.

The main thing that Louise Hay tries to get people to do is daily affirmations.

Now, I can't say that I find it an easy task to get up in the morning, look into the mirror and tell myself that "I love you." It makes me feel kind of silly, but it also makes me feel much better about myself.

One of my daily affirmations is:

"There is plenty for everyone, including me."

Which is to help me remain more positive about my daily work. Instead of thinking that there is too much competition out there, I really have to think that "there is plenty for everyone, including me."

Another would be:

"I am a good mother/wife/friend. All is well in my world."

This helps me to remember to be more patient with my children, rather than become agitated so easily.

One more:

"I have everything that I need. Things come easily to me. I am prosperous."
This keeps me from saying, "I'm broke, I hate being on a budget, I never have any money for anything fun."

So what does DH think about this?

He's usually pretty supportive of this type of thing, but right now he's into a bit of a rut.

I'm finding that I need to be positive for the both of us right now... which makes it really hard to remain positive.

Things will turn around though, they always do!

Want to know what types of things have happened to me over the last two weeks since starting my daily affirmations? I'll tell you anyway :)

One: I won $125.00 from a challenge through my work.

Two: I have stopped clenching my teeth at night (stress related).

Three: I had a meeting with a client yesterday, who introduced me to a very influential businessman, who would like to sit down with me for coffee some day next week to discuss a possible career move.

You can say that I'm crazy. I guarantee though, if you try this positive way of life/thinking yourself, you will see that things around you will begin to change.

One important thing though... you have to be WILLING TO CHANGE or the cycle of old thinking will continue and you will not be open to the new opportunities that are staring you in the face.

In Louise Hay's book she tells a story of a man who came to her for help and in going through the process, he could see that his life was changing. He won $500 but couldn't stop saying, "I can't believe I won this money, I never win anything." He couldn't just be happy about the fact that he had won the money and be grateful. Instead, he dwelled on the fact that "he never wins anything." The next week, he was in a car accident and broke his leg... the doctor's bill was $500. If this man would have just been thankful and kept his mouth shut... what do you think may have happened? I can guess that he would not have broken his leg and would not have had to pay that $500 doctor's bill.

Something to think about.

Try it and see what happens to you. I'd be glad to help out in any way that I can. Just send me an email with any questions tljordan30@gmail.com

Life is good... all is well in my world.

(PS - I realize that the topics of my blog tend to jump around a lot. My blog is therapy for me, it allows me to release all of the tension in my life and talk to people who I don't have to worry about running into at the grocery store. Thank you for your support. And in the process, if I can make a little money at this, that's just a bonus.) :) "I have everything that I need. Things come easily to me. I am prosperous."

Oh how I love a good nap.

So far this summer has been pretty good.

The kids have been busy with camps, bible school, sports and we just returned from a week's vacation.

Oh, how we needed that vacation.

Before we left, Baby O was not wanting to take his naps in the afternoon. I think we tuckered him out so much on our trip that he's back to needing them again!

Let's hope it continues.

As all of us mom's know, life is never the same once the little ones no longer take naps. It's a bit better for travelling mind you, but everyone needs a little down-time in the afternoon (including me) and when I have a screaming toddler at the dinner table because he didn't have a nap in the afternoon... well, let's just say... this does not make for a very happy mealtime.

I would rather not hear the screaming of a toddler while I'm trying to enjoy my dinner. Or have to get up and down 15 times because he just can't decide what he wants to do.

Naps... I love naps.

Before our vacation however, we did have to cut the naps back to NO MORE than 2 hrs in the afternoon, and they absolutly cannot go beyond 3pm or else we have a toddler running around our house until 10pm. We will continue with this plan for the next little while.

I don't know how some people do it. I have friends who have children who are four years old and they still nap in the afternoon!! My four year old has not napped since he was two and a half!! I need to find out what kind of herbs they are slipping into their sippy cups and get myself some!!

S would be a much happier child if he would have a quick little power snooze in the afternoon. Just 30 mins would suffice. I feel so badly for him some days. He'll be laying on the couch during "quiet time" and you can see his eyes are glazy, etc. But... try putting him into bed - NO WAY!

The only way he will sleep in the afternoon is if we are driving in the vehicle... which is sometimes a trick we play on the kids. "Okay everyone, hop in the van, we're going for a drive!!" (hehehehe)

This isn't as good for me however, because I would like to nap with them!

I can see myself now, pulling over to the side of the road while everyone else is napping so that I too can get a little shut eye.

Knock, knock...

"Oh, excuse me officer, I was just so tired... the kids won't sleep at night and now they don't want to sleep during the day... all I need is 20 minutes and I'll be out of here. We're fine... really, we're fine."

Oh yes... kids change your life completely. I really miss those days when we used to sleep in until noon.

I'm sure though, once they're all out on their own, we'll wish we were back to sleepless nights and crazy days with no naps or downtime... or maybe not, we'll be too busy napping.

Have I told you lately that I love you??

Today is day two of rain... again with the rain! When will it stop?

It's been a pretty rainy summer thus far here in my little corner of the world. Five weeks of rain to be exact! Rain never bothered me before... but now, with three little boys in the house who won't stop fighting with each other? It's the end of the world when I wake up to a wet and dreary day.

I know what my mother meant now when she used to say, "you two kids are getting on my last nerve!!"

When I was a kid, I used to love to go outside in the rain... jump in mud puddles... play with my umbrella!

My kids? (the oldest two)

OMG - it's like pulling teeth to get them away from their little handheld video games long enough to eat, let alone go outside and play. Baby O, would stay outside all day if you would let him.

The best thing I've said to my little munchkins today is this:

"Have I told you lately that I love you? Great, now go put on your rain slicker and your boots and GET OUTSIDE!! I'll see you in no less than 45 minutes."

Phew - peace and quiet at last!

Oh wait... who's little face is this pressed up against the window?

"Get away! Go play in a mud puddle!"

It's like shooing the neighbors dog out of the yard!

Poor little O, has no problem playing in the rain... I can't let him stay out long though and he has to stay on the deck where I can keep an eye on him. However, he's the one trying to make it to the swing set... the other two? Faces pressed against the patio doors, crying like they're being abused... they're going through withdrawal and it's only been not even two minutes.

This is really quite funny.

"It's July boys, not January... it's rainy but not cold! Suck it up and give your poor mother a break."

We are leaving in two days to go on vacation for a week. Please let it be sunny!!

We'll have to be sure to pack those rain slickers and rubber boots, JUST in case.

Extras for Mom and Dad too.

I can't get us packed to go if I have to keep being the referee... and believe you / me... vacation is EXACTLY what this family needs!!

Anger, Frustration & Worries

I logged in today and read my last post from last week. Talking about S's great group therapy session, etc. Oh what a wonderful day that was.

The following day, he had a one-on-one session which didn't turn out quite so great.

Here is his story:

Drop off went well. S's therapist was running late and I had to be at work, so one of the other therapists agreed to integrate him into her session until his therapist was able to get there. That was fine with him. He got to make a new friend.

During snack-time however, things took a turn for the worse.

Because there were two little boys there that day, the therapists thought it would be nice to have snack-time together.

The other little boy thought it would be funny to take S's cookie bag and play a game with him.

He would take the bag, give it back; take the bag again, give it back. On the third time that he took the bag, he kept it a bit longer than the first two times, causing S to cross his arms and "huff" in anger.

The therapist then asked S to "ask the little boy for your bag back."

No response.

When she realized he was not going to do this, she did not give him the bag back. She made him clap to get the bag back.

Before he would actually "clap" however, he had a melt-down and started to cry.

(He's probably thinking... screw you lady, just give me the GD cookies back! And, why don't you tell that little bugger to give me my GD cookies back!!)

While he was crying, the therapist (who BTW is a University summer student whose mother happens to be the Director of the Program) said that he would not speak for approximately 20 mins and when he did start to speak again, he would not speak in sentences and his words were not phonetically correct.

Okay... I understand this... this is our whole issue. When S gets upset, he shuts down. That's what you guys are getting paid the big bucks for... you need to help us figure this out and teach him how to cope in these situations.

The day after the therapy session, I got a phone call from one of the ladies involved with the program stating that, "we are afraid to do therapy with S, because we think that there may be something 'medically' wrong with him. This is not typical behaviour that we have seen before and therefore would feel more comfortable once the neurological paediatrician has done some more tests."

So, I'm completely bewildered. I thought this was the whole point of therapy. We told them what was going on before he even started. The paediatric an recommended this program... now, they want to stop all therapy? WTF??

I hang up the phone and immediately call the paediatrician's office and explain to her assistant, what is happening. She is completely confused and cannot understand what's going on the same as I.

Saturday evening, the paediatrican calls me at home to hear my story. She states that even if stressful situations were causing him to have seizures (which is what the program director is thinking), there would be no reason to just stop therapy. Plus, the two EEG's that she has ordered over the past few months have both come back normal with no signs of seizures.

Tuesday, I get a phone call from the Director of the Program. She states that she has sent an email to the Paediatrican after trying to phone her the previous day with no luck in reaching her.

I express my anger, frustration and worries. I got a little "hot" under the collar when speaking to her on the phone because I thought this was their "job" to help figure this little boy out.

She then proceeds to tell me that, during the session when S had his melt-down, the therapist witnessed weird eye movements and facial twitching. WTF???

Why in hell didn't they mention this on Friday? I wish I had been armed with this information when speaking to the Paediatrician!!

That makes more sense to me.

While I was speaking to the Director, she received a reply to her email from the Paediatrician stating that she had put in a requisition for a video overnight EEG to be completed at the end of August and has also put him on the list for an MRI... which could take months. The earliest will be September and that is with everyone on this great earth crossing their fingers and praying to whatever god / universal power that they possibly can.

So my question of the day?

What do we do now?

The doctor tells me to watch him carefully for weird eye movements and facial twitching and to call her if I witness ANYTHING. Honestly... I've never seen this in the past four years of this child's life!! Other than when we were at the last EEG appointment when his face kind of drooped to one side when he was screaming his head off!

The doctor seems to think though that if he was having seizures, he would be having them more often than when he was having a melt-down. And if it was affecting his speech, he would most likely sound like a deaf person when he speaks... but this is not how he speaks. He speaks very slow, clear and phonetic.

The worst thing I have ever heard in my life thus far is, "Momof3, your son is very unique and a mystery to us... we just don't know what is going on with him."

WTF??

This does not make me sleep well at night!

God / Universe... give me strength.

Horray!!

Oh what a beautiful day. The sun is shining and my van is finally fixed. I won't tell you the story about how they could have had it fixed last week, because the part that they said WOULDN'T fit, really DID fit once they actually tried it! GRRRR!! (It's now in the past... let's move forward)

S, had his first day of "school" (aka - therapy) yesterday. He did so great! He didn't have a hard time joining in with the other kids at all. Wednesdays will be a group session during the summer. He'll be doing a school readiness program to get him ready for preschool in the Fall. The rest of the week will be one-on-one.

He was pretty tuckered out by the end of the day but very proud of himself. He wore his new Super Mario Backpack and was sure to tell everyone there, who was on it.

I stayed for most of the session... took my laptop and did some work in a nearby room where I could hear what was going on. At snack time, the teachers asked the kids to go and get their backpacks to take their snacks out of it and he was sure to say, "My backpack has Mario on it! Look, my backpack has Mario on it!" It was pretty cute. Super Mario is such a hero in our house!!

This morning however, he advised me that he was going to the sitter but he wasn't going to school. He changed his mind later on when I went to pick him up, but I was wondering if it would be a struggle.

Let's just hope every day is like that.

I feel kind of bad for him though... he'll be inside doing this therapy on nice sunny days and his brothers will be at the babysitter or at home, probably in the pool... it doesn't quite seem fair. He's working a 20 hr week before he even hits preschool.

This therapy will hopefully help him learn coping skills though and help him to deal with stressful situations.

So, I'm off to pick up the kids and enjoy the sunshine for the rest of the day... thank goodness it's finally here. And now that I'm not driving DH's truck with the stickers all over it, I feel much better driving through town harrassing construction workers and people who cut me off! LOL

Carpooling Really Sucks!!

You know, you don't appreciate having your own wheels until they break!

I am now on day seven of carpooling with my DH. Let me tell ya! It is not going well.

I want to say the heck with the old heap of junk and buy a new one... however, my bank account does not agree with this scenario.

As a rule, we are the family who is always rushing around. Late for EVERYTHING. Always pushing the kids out the door. That's a typical day with us going in two different directions.

Now, we're even worse and getting grumpier as each moment passes because we have to wait for one more person!

AND to top it all off... there's construction going on in our tiny little town on the main street that everyone has to drive on! Now everyone is grumpy... and late.

So, the laws of attraction say, you must remain positive...

I'll try to think about how nice those roads will be once they are fixed and how nice my newly fixed van will drive over them.

AND I also have to think about how the sun is going to start shining the week we go on vacation because, as we are well aware here in our little corner of the world, we are now on day 19 of rain/mist/showers. DH says only 21 to go... perhaps we should start building our Arc??

Construction + Carpooling = Not a fun adventure

I'm kind of getting side-tracked... getting back to carpooling.

The worst thing about me having to drive DH's vehicle is the fact that he owns his own business and therefore has fancy stickers all over his truck...

Does he not realize that with the construction/driving kids around town/work, I am on the roads practically all day long... I am prone to a little road rage and have been known to wave frantically/yell/honk at people who cut me off... you can't do this in a truck with fancy stickers all over it without people knowing who you are.

I've now started wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses while driving so that everyone thinks its DH behind the wheel, not me!

At least when I'm driving my minivan... there's another one around town that looks just like mine... there's a chance that the crazy person behind the wheel, isn't me!

Being positive pays!

Quote of the day:

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

This quote is so fitting for me at this point in my life. I just had to share.

Here I am going all philosophical on you all. Sorry.

However, have you read "The Secret?"

Some people think that I'm crazy. I'm really not. I'm just passionate about certain things. The book, The Secret, just happens to be one of them.

There have been so many occasions in my life where the laws of attraction have certainly been obvious... now that I realize it, I see it much more often.

I have this wonderful friend, who probably thinks I'm nuts, but I know that if she (you) read that book I gave her before she moved away from me, she wouldn't think I'm so crazy anymore! I'm kidding... I know, she's a busy woman and doesn't have time to read! Someday though, when the time is right, she'll read it and thank me!

Anyhow, I'm getting off track.

Life for the past few months, as you faithful readers know, has been one heck of a ride for my family. It's one thing after another it seems. However, throughout this process of "testing" I have not given up on the possibility of everything working out in the end.

Yes, there have been many times throughout the last few months when I've thought to myself... "what the ??? How much more do you honestly think one person can handle?" The old saying goes, "God never gives you any more than you can handle." Well, I've been certainly questioning that!

The thing I've said the most to friends and family is this... "something good is going to come out of all of this... I don't know what it will be, but it will be something."

It's hard to stay positive all of the time. Believe me, I have my moments. But like the above quote states... "when you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." What else are you suppose to do??

Saturday nights in our house is "family movie night." Well, this past Saturday night we watched "Meet the Robinson's." Such a sweet movie, the kids loved it. My husband noted however that it was, "kind of deep for the kid's don't ya think?"

It was - BUT... guess what the message was?

You got it! If you dwell on bad things that happen, you will live a miserable life!

Well, that's what I got out of it anyway. I won't ruin the ending for you if you haven't watched the movie, but if you do watch it... pay careful attention to Gube.

We try every day to teach our children to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and try again. It's hard, yes. But, living in a positive light, makes living so much easier.

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." - Henry Ford

A little update on the Fam:

I have positive news today about S's therapy!

It will be held in our home town (less Wednesdays when we will have to travel).
Sure beats travelling four days! I'm very pleased with our persistence... and it really didn't take much.

So, I guess I can calm down and stop being a CRAZY woman!! Maybe now, people will want to hire me!

I'm sending that positive vibe out into the universe... let's just see what happens! :)

Weekly Recap

I can't believe it's been over a week since I've updated my blog. Sorry faithful readers :)

What's been going on in my life for the past week?

Well... let me just say... I feel like a complete ASS! Here's a little recap.

Thursday:

I received an email from a friend, letting me know about a potential career opportunity for moi. It sounded interesting so I though, what the hey... I'll give it a go.

I submit my resume. Let's see if I get an interview.


Friday:

I get a phone call from the lady who works for the company who will be doing therapy with S this summer. She got a message that we were not happy with having to travel for S's appointments and is looking into how we can resolve the issue.

The thought of all of the travelling is still stressing me out.

Saturday:

A has a birthday party to attend. My friend and I take our two sons to the party in a nearby town that is about 35 mins away. The party was fun... although a little rainy. We thought we would take a short-cut on the way home... it ended up being a long cut. I've not been this freaked out in a long time. Listen to this...

We're driving down a road that we "think" we should be driving on and realize that we are going the wrong way.

We turn around and start driving back and decide to try another road that "looks" like the road we should be driving on... nope... wrong way.

We turn around again and notice that there is a vehicle parked along the side of the road. Great! We'll ask for directions.

We pull up beside this vehicle and roll down the window to find this huge dog looking at us (I gasp!!) and this man who looks like he has no eyes! AHHHH!!! There is a person in the back of the vehicle who seems to be looking for something but does not get out to talk to us. We were too scared to move!!!

We ask for directions and the man with no eyes tells us which way to go! Thank you!! BYE BYE!!

We drive past and I look back to see a woman crunched over in the back of the vehicle wearing tight black pants and a black halter top... she looks like she's been through the war... much like someone you might find on a street corner. I have no idea what she was doing. My friends says, "I think she's cutting up the body in the back!" AHHH!!

That was soooo freaky! It took us both a couple of minutes to say a word to each other. The boys were unaware... they were in the back seat playing DS. Phew!

Remind me to never stop and ask for directions again.

Now mind you, we live in a rural area with a seemingly low crime rate. There's not much that goes on around here other than petty theft, drug sales and cross-border smuggling. That experience certainly scared the bajesus out of me!!

Sunday:

S had a big birthday party and invited 11 of his closest friends! It was a great day... the kids had a lot of fun.

Monday:

(in the back of my mind all day is the fact that S, has an EEG tomorrow where he MUST be asleep for a period of time... I'm stressed about how that's going to happen)

Moving on about the day, my son, A, and I had a dentist appointment in a nearby town which is about a 20 minute drive. We're driving/chatting/singing along with the radio when suddenly the radio turns off!

What happened?

We turn off of the highway and the van starts to chug and gurgle and sputter!

Next thing we know, we're sitting along side of the road calling DH to come and get us because the van won't start! AHHHH!

DH comes to the rescue and we manage to get the van back home.

Later that afternoon, I'm sitting at the computer doing my most favorite duty (paying bills) and the telephone rings. It's a local number... but not one that I recognize.

Who could it be?

Remember when I said I applied for a new job last week?

It's the Director of Operations calling to see if I would be available for an interview. They are looking to hire someone right away... full time, 8:30am-5pm.

Holy shit! I can't believe they're calling this quickly. I thought I would at least have the therapy issue worked out before I would hear back about this job prospect.

I kinda went ballistic on the woman! I feel like such an ASS!

I told her that I would love to have an interview but explained the situation about the therapy, travelling, etc. I'm not sure that I should have done that but she caught be at a weak moment. I just spilled my guts!

When I got off the phone, I sat there, numb for a minute. I can't believe I just told this lady my life story (or at least the last six months of it). That's not really something a potential employer needs to hear on an initial phone call. I'm feeling like a huge ASS.

The lady was really nice though... a little stunned, I think, and told me to call her back in a couple of days once I got some new information and spoke with DH about a possible schedule for travelling, IF there is such a thing that we have to do so.

Okay. Thank you.

Tuesday:

OMG - I am in such a state of bewilder. We had to keep S up late last night for his sleep deprived EEG and wake him up two hrs early this morning. I'm stressed about him going through this. I'm worried that if he's stressed he'll stop talking again.

I'm stressed about the ASS I made of myself on the phone yesterday.

I'm pissed that I haven't heard back from the people about the travelling.

AHHHHH!

I make a phone call from my cell while we're driving to the agency looking after the therapy, trying to get a cell number for our contact person (who BTW told us to call her at any time, day or night). The girl on the other end of the phone "can't give out her cell number!"

AHHHH!

Luckily though, she came into the office shortly thereafter and gave me a call.

We now have the travelling issue somewhat resolved.

We have to travel on Wednesdays and they will make accommodations for the rest of the week.

THANK YOU!

We get to the hospital for the EEG and although a bit hesitant to start, S does very well, gets hooked up and GOES TO SLEEP!

Thank you EEG lady! You were wonderful!!

We come home and I make a call to the Director of Operations to tell her that I am now in a position to redeem myself from my state of ASSness (okay, not a word, but work with me here).

I have to leave a message.

Wednesday:

CANADA DAY! A holiday... I'm wondering/stressed/freaking out.

TODAY:

I get a telephone message from the Director of Operations. Call her back. Get her voicemail. Leave a message. She calls me back and this is our conversation:

Me: I apologize for my state the other day. Things have been so up in the air lately but we have finally been able to get things under control and know what our schedule is going to be. I am in a position to come in for an interview whenever it is convenient for you.

Her: (Lightly laughing) That's okay. I understand this has probably been a stressful time for you. I was speaking to the owner of our company the other day who happens to be coming to the area next week. She and I would like to sit down and review the position and what we will require from the potential employee. We will not be in a position to begin the interview process for a couple of weeks but I will give you a call at that time and set up an appointment with you.

Me: (disappointed) Okay then. That's great. That should give me a little bit of time to get everyone on a schedule and I will hopefully be in a better position to let you know what I can provide to you (we had previously had a little conversation about what they were looking for, etc., but she didn't really elaborate much... since she probably thought I was CRAZY).

Her: I thought that you might appreciate this little bit of time. I will call you in a couple of weeks.

Me: Okay great. Thank you!

Facts:

My friend who told me about the position initially, said that they didn't want to advertise and asked her to put a few "feelers" out. They wanted to hire someone asap.

Question:

In my Assy state, did they decide that, "Hey, this girl is WhAcKy! Maybe we should advertise after all?"

I don't know! I guess I'll just have to wait and find out.

Food for thought...

Never tell your life story to a potential employer when they call to ask you for an interview...

and

Never stop and ask for directions when you're in the middle of nowhere!!

It's B-A-A-C-K!!

Just when I thought it was over...

Last night at midnight, DH and I are just heading to bed and I hear the most god-awful screams I have ever heard in my entire life. I drop my toothbrush and run, heart pounding and scared to see what could possibly cause this terrifying scream.

I enter A's bedroom to hear, "AHHHHH!!!! MOOOOMMMM!!!! I NEED THE BUCKET!!!!"

DH and I are both running in circles... who can get to the bucket first? Team work then comes into play. He grabs the bucket, passes it to me and I throw it under A's head as he's leaning over, clenching his stomach... and then it comes... and comes... and comes.

OMG!

All poor little A could say was, "when will this ever end?"

Okay - I'm beginning to wonder what's going on here. Just how much do you think one mom can handle?

It wasn't too long ago that all three of my boys were sick for a week!

Just when we thought it was over... it mysteriously veers it's ugly head!

I knew I should have ordered the barf buddy when I had the chance!

I sent the other two boys to the babysitter today while I stay home and play nurse to A... let's hope that they don't wake up in the middle of the night tonight with the same issues. I really don't know if I can handle another week of this!

S will be very disappointed if he gets sick and isn't able to have his Super Mario Birthday Party on Sunday!! He's been talking about it now for weeks!!

I'm praying to the almighty universe to please spare us, just this once!!

What to do, what to do...

That is the question of the day.

We learned last week that S's therapy will start on July 6th. Which is wonderful.

(Are you waiting for the "but?")

Here it is... BUT... instead of it being in our hometown... it is now going to be a 35 minute drive each way for the months of July and August.

For those of you who do not live in a small town and typically drive 45 mins to work, one way... you may think I'm crazy... 35 mins isn't a big deal.

Here it is again... BUT...

When you work full time and you have to travel one of your little people to therapy that will take 70 minutes out of your work-day... it is a big deal.

We can't just take him, drop him off, go back to work... drive back, pick him up, come home... that would be 70 mins times two!! We will have to take him and stay while he's there to eliminate 70 mins of travelling time. It's a bit complicated.

So! What do do, what to do??

I went to my family doctor for a friendly visit yesterday and explained the situation. Her suggestion (I made her think it was her idea) is for me to take time off work.

A three month medical leave of absence (although I explained to her that I only need two, she believes we will need more time than that). I advised her that I don't want her to put anything crazy in my medical chart... like "patient going to have a nervous break-down if doesn't take time off work." She told me not to worry.

So... I call my boss.

HAHAHAHAHA!

He's pissed!

Boss: "You know, we can't just put you off work for NO REASON! We have to have a legitimate reason to put you off, you know! Do you think you're stressed?"

Me: (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) "Do you think I'm not?"

Boss: "AH, well, ah, you must be!"

Me: "Ah, yeah! How would you feel if you're world as you knew it just did a complete 360 in a matter of minutes?"

Boss: "I guess I would be a little stressed! Let me see what we can do, let's see if we can work with you on this without you taking a leave of absence."

Me: "Okay - so while I'm not working and not getting paid, are you going to pay my bills for me??"

Boss: "Ah, NO!"

Me: "Okay then - so how about we look at the medical leave option... at least I'll get paid... right?"

I think the Boss is barking up the wrong tree. It is my right as an employee who pays into my benefits program, to have access to my coverage. If my doctor thinks I need to take a leave of absence, who is he to say that I can't? I think the Human Rights Dept. would have a field day with this guy!

It won't come to that but... holy smokes?

He's so crazy! "Do you think you're stressed?"

"I don't know... are you a man?"

I shouldn't quit my day job!!

For the last three weeks, I have been trying to get my boys' hair cut.

Usually, this is not an issue.

Three weeks ago, I picked the boys up at the babysitter and ventured off to the hairdresser. God love her... she's so patient.

Anyhow, we get there and S usually wants to go first... well, not today! So A went first.

Once A was finished, S began to protest and didn't want to get his hair cut!

Because it's usually "Monkey See Monkey Do" in our house, Baby O then decides that he's not getting his hair cut either!

Well... when you only have so many hours in a day, you can imagine that this is driving me crazy. I decide to pick my battles and make an appointment for another day.

Another day comes... I take S and Baby O to the hairdresser. S gets up like a brave little soldier and gets the deed done.

Baby O? No way! Forget it! He still remembers about the protest last time and decides it's not over yet.

On to today... we try again.

What is going on here? I can't take this attitude. Picture a nasty little 2 year old looking at you and saying, "NO! I not getting my hair cut! Leave me ALONE! YOU NOT A BABY, I A BABY!!"

What?

So by now you've probably guessed it!

Yes, I had to resort to cutting the little devil's hair myself!

(BTW - DH is not impressed with my hairdressing abilities)

Baby O thinks it's the best hair cut he's ever had!

I don't think that I should quit my day job!!

Music to my ears!

I have this overwhelming feeling of joy/happiness/relief/confusion/frustration/elation.

My son, S, is now talking in full sentences. What did I say in my previous post? I predicted that he would be talking in full sentences by when, Christmas?

I am so happy, yet so confused.

This little boy is such a mystery to me and to every health professional who has seen him since March 29th of this year when he stopped verbally communicating.

I am so pleased to say though that he is now coming back to me. That's really how I feel... I feel like he's been a little lost soul for the last 2 1/2 months and he is slowly but surely coming back to me.

We walked into the sitter's house this morning. The idea was that he was going to go in and say "Good Morning" but he changed his mind in the van. He wanted to walk in and say "Luigi."

Whatever makes you feel good S, go for it!

So we walk in, he holds up his DS game and yells, "Luigi!!"

The sitter looked at me and I honestly thought she was going to cry! (sigh, sniff sniff)

She then looked at me and shook her head as if to say, "what the heck?"

I'm like, "I KNOW!!!"

He then ran over to the couch, hopped in between his two buddies and they started playing together.

What a beautiful sight!

Hearing his little voice is music to my ears.

One step forward...

I am pleased to announce that I had a very enjoyable weekend.

S, sang songs and talked up a storm all weekend long. Now, mind you, he did this in the comfort of his bedroom, in the play space under the stairs... anywhere that he didn't think anyone could hear him.

He did however, say "DS" without just saying the letter sounds and also said "Luigi." He held a book up to me and said the word.

The Top Hits of the weekend were:

1. "Scooby Dooby Doo, Where are You?"
2. "Itsy Bitsy Spider"
3. "Aloetta"

He counted to 9 while playing Wii... then to 13 when playing hide-and-seek with Big Brother A. Also, when he was done counting, he said "ready or not, here I come!"

Ask him a question though and he will not answer in a sentence and is still gesturing and saying "uh huh" and "uh uh" for "yes" and "no."

Beggars can't be choosers at this point. I am so happy with this progress I literally started to cry when he was singing the theme song to Scooby Doo.

We had a meeting today with the team of professionals that are working with S, and told them of his progress.

We are all so stumped by his peculiar behavior but I have the utmost faith in the team's ability to help him... as well as our consistency in working with him.

Tonight, when we were getting ready for bed, he also asked for milk. Previously, he would say "ma" for milk. Tonight he said the word.

To get him to talk, I have been saying the word and waiting for his response. If he has none, I repeat myself. I don't ask him to repeat the word, I simply wait for his response. I've been consistent in not giving him what he wants until he says the word, or at least tries it and it's working great. Of course, I didn't come up with this strategy all by myself. I have the TEAM to thank for it. Watching and learning their techniques are really paying off. He's catching on much quicker than I anticipated.

I am predicting that by Christmas, he will be speaking in full sentences again (or at least I hope).

We start intensive therapy in three weeks, which I'm sure will help immensely. Then there's preschool in the Fall together with therapy in the afternoon. He's going to get the best help we can possibly ask for!!

I am amazed at the Early Intervention programs available in our province. Ones that if we lived in another province, ie. Ontario, these therapies would cost a whopping $20K-$30K per year! Our provincial government is paying the entire bill!! This is amazing!! Even the middle-class citizens of our province are getting benefits.

I guess my theory of quitting my job, staying home, baking bread and collecting a "cheque" can be put on hold... at least for a little while.

Thank you provincial government! I will vote for you in the next election!!

My Mom is a Wine-O

Okay - let's hope this isn't what my kids remember of me when they're older.

Of course, we rarely go without having a glass of wine with dinner, but that's the extent of when they would see me with it. Mostly, it's at the end of the day when they're in bed and I need to relax. Red wine just seems to make the day seem better somehow. If we lived in Europe, we'd drink it for breakfast!

One glass before bed... that's all it takes. I'm not an alcoholic or anything... or at least I haven't taken the first step to admitting it. :)

Thankfully, DH is the town supplier of all things "wine." I like to consider myself "Quality Control."

We've got to test the products to make sure the client's are happy!

We've actually had family members come into our wine-cellar (a.k.a - closet with milk crates and boxes full of wine...) and comment on how they couldn't live in a house with so much wine in it. "How do you keep yourselves under control?" they ask.

Well, maybe they need to start admitting to something? Huh?

I guess we're lucky to not have "addictive personalities," otherwise, there could be an issue.

The funniest thing I can remember was when my son was in preschool, they were learning about the food groups. They were talking about fruits and vegetables and asking the kids to name different types of fruit. When grapes were mentioned, my then four year old little boy raises his hand and says, "Mrs. ___ do you know what grapes are good for?" She replies, "what's that A?" He states, "they are great for making wine!"

Thankfully she knows us and replies, "Yes, A, that's right! Grapes are used to make wine!"

This was a reminder to me that you just never know what kids are going to come out with!

We'll see what they remember about their childhood when they're older.

This might be scary.

Bubble wrap and hula hoops!

In an attempt to entertain our three sons, we've been trying to think of things that the kids will have fun doing (besides the trusty Nintendo DS and Television screen).

My DH and I both brought home a special surprise for the boys last night.

My DH's surprise: Bubble wrap (very large sheets)

My surprise: Hula Hoops

Honestly, it sounded like guns were being fired in my house as the kids jumped around and played on the bubble wrap.

And how funny is it watching three little boys trying to maneuver a hula hoop?? OMG - it was so cute.

Baby O was trying to be like Big Brother A... doing everything he could to get those hips moving! The "ula oot" was bigger than him!!

S was pretty red in the face by the end of it! He really worked up a sweat! LOL

Big Brother A was fantastic! He's a natural... just like his mama (chuckle).

So, if you're looking for some fun... dig out the bubble wrap or find yourself a hula hoop! You're bound to have a great time!

PS - It is a good work out... I can feel it in my abs today!

Note to self... I really need to work out more!

Small Town Gossip

Ooohhhh, today's topic hit's me hard!

Yes, I realize that we all like to gossip... to a certain degree. But when it comes to people talking about your kids! Watch out! I can say whatever I want, but God forbid YOU say ANYTHING about my kids!

This morning I was rushing around, getting everything together to get my passport done. Even though I've known about the June 1st deadline for having a passport to cross the border, I wait until June 10 to complete it. Oh the crazy life of a working mom.

Anyhow, I walk into my Lawyer's office this morning to have a friend that works there, be my Guarantor for my passport and I hear... "And (Momof3) says, well just leave him alone then!" Okay - this comes from a conversation that this friend and I had last week. Which is fine. But when I walked in and said, "I said what?" I took everyone by surprise by walking in on the conversation.

Anyhow, my friend proceeds to tell me that an acquaintance of hers called her and said, "What is going on with (Momof3's) little fella, S?" Well, as you are aware from reading my previous blog posts. S, stopped talking back in March and we have been to Doctor's, SLPs, etc., ever since, trying to figure out why.

He's still the same loveable, hugable little boy... communicating and getting what he needs and wants. He's just not using his words. He is making progress though. There is nothing mentally or physically wrong with this child. He is super smart. At the age of 4 he knows all of his letters and their sounds, can spell his name out loud and can recognize numbers up to 12.

Let me tell you... there aren't a lot of kids in kindergarten today that can do that!

One of his attributes at the moment, just happens to be the fact that he is incredibly strong-willed and STUBBORN! And has chosen NOT to use his words. He does say Mommy, Dada, Wii, Juice, POOP! You know, the important ones! :)

So, anyway, it's officially big news around my small town that "something is wrong" with S. Well... to all of you who like to gossip and make a mountain out of a mole hill - "mind your own GD business!"

I guess the biggest thing that got me was the comment that the acquaintance made when my friend said, "why would you ask that, what have you been hearing?" She then said, "OMG, I've heard everything from one extreme to the other!" WTF does that mean? My friend didn't have time to discuss what she had heard because she was at work but plans to find out. Ohhhhh.... I'll be interested to hear this.

As you can tell, I'm a little pissy today.

If you're genuinly concerned about the well-being of my child, thank you!

If you're just looking for the juicy gossip and are going to misconstrue everything, "go to hell!"

Oh the joys of living in a small town.

People I Hate!

Okay - so maybe "hate" is a strong word. But let me tell ya, I've been counting to 10, very slowly, all day. I just keep getting madder and madder the longer I work.

It all started this morning... I was sitting at the office, drinking my coffee when the lady who does our in-office training called. We did a session via webinar and she showed me a few things, which made me dig into my client database, which made me uncover a few things that perhaps people would rather I not uncover!

BUSTED!!!

A little background on my career. I'm paid 100% commission to sell stuff. I work for a HUGE company who has other people like me, who sell the same stuff, all over the world.

Five years ago when I first started selling stuff, I joined a multi-stuff-selling corporation (a.k.a. MSSC). Which basically means, they have a really large group of clients, so large that they can't service them all. I was brought on board because they needed someone to help service the clients where I live. It was my understanding that the CEO of the MSSC didn't want to service my area any longer, so he wanted someone else to do it. I would get paid for any new business I generated myself and could "fill my boots" with any of the existing clients (less maybe 25 of the CEO's personal clients.

Well, the table has now turned and the CEO is expecting me to be here to service his clients, but doesn't want me to make any money for my work and time.

I know that this may be hard to understand so I'll make it a little more clear.

He's being a greedy bastard and I'm about ready to kick him in A$$!

Phew, that felt good! Not as good as kicking him the A$$ though.

So I need to make a decision... Perhaps I should dissolve my relationship with the MSSC, take MY clients and run!

Or maybe I should just forget all of this bulls**t; stay at home, make bread and collect my cheque at the end of the month.

So many options!

If you were my friend and I had a nasty son, would you tell me?

That's the question of the day!

I have this acquaintance/friend who has a son in A's class (we'll call him johnny), who although comes from a very good family, is one of those kids that you just don't want to force your kids to hang around with. On a number of occasions, A has come home saying that he has been hit, had his sweater thrown in the urinal (GROSS!!), and has been called names.

In my eyes, johnny is a ruffian. He doesn't know his boundaries. He's whiny and likes to be the leader of the pack.

Initially, we thought, "he's gone through a lot of changes in his life lately which could result in challenging behaviors." But now, it is becoming apparent that he's just a nasty kid!

However, his mother is not naive to his behaviors and often says to me, "if you see johnny doing something he shouldn't be doing, please tell me!" But do I? Really? Would she really want me to?

This little boy tends to lean towards the more aggressive children in the class to play with but the mother wants him to play with the better behaved "good" kids... but the better behaved kids don't want to play with him! She thinks that if he plays with the "good" kids, he'll be converted. I'm not so sure!

I had a discussion with another mother who is in the same predicament as me. We feel badly but our boys are adamant that they DO NOT want to play with this little guy... so what's a mom to do?

If little johnny came from a different upbringing, I would have no problem telling my son to "stay away from him!" But because he "is who he is" it's hard. And because I know is mom and know that she is trying her damnedest to get him to comply... it's even harder!

I've told A that he doesn't have to play with johnny if he doesn't want to and that if he does anything to him that he shouldn't, be sure to tell the teacher or tell me.

Then, the little johnny's mother calls with a personal invitation for play dates and birthday parties.

Oh the joys of parenting!

Where's my magic wand?

(Frantically searching)... Where is it? Please don't tell me I lost it? Please don't tell me, among the millions of things that I have to do today, this has gone missing. Can you help me out? I seem to have lost my magic wand! You know, the one that magically cleans the house; puts money into my bank account, since I work in a 100% commission based sales career; makes the kids' lunch in the mornings; does the laundry... (ring, ring) Oh - wait a minute? (Wiping the drool from my face and my laptop)... did I just fall asleep at work?

(Back to reality) Wouldn't life be grand if this were a true story. Oh the things I would do if I only had a magic wand. House chores would be at the top of the list... money would be second. Third would be to cure all illnesses and make everyone healthy. I feel confident that everything else in my life could be handled without it.

If you were given a magic wand, what would you use it for? (Comments below) And DH, please don't say, "make my wife want to be in the mood more often." Although... if everything else was done, I may not feel so tired at the end of the day! Hmmmm....

Life is so hectic these days. For those of us who have to work outside of the home full-time, there just aren't enough hours in the day (SAHM's I'm sure feel the same way, at least I get a little break from the kids when I go to work - I applaud those who SAH with their children - you deserve two magic wands!!).

One can only dream of what it would be like to have the authority to waive a small stick and say "abra-cadabra." Or - in my house, the famous words would be those often spoken by super mario brothers and my kids... "mama-mia - LUNCH!"

Sibling Rivalry

Question of the Day: When do kids start to really like each other?

We wake up in the morning... everything's great. It takes about 20 minutes for everyone to feel like looking at each other but after that, things are pretty good. Until... someone bumps into someone else, or picks up a toy the other person had last week (how did you know I was going to play with that again, just as you picked it up?)"Stop looking at me!! All you ever do is LOOK at me!! Why does he always look at me? Does he have to do EVERYTHING the same as me? He's being nasty, put him in a TIME-OUT!" And so the drama begins.

The saying "Two's company, three's a crowd" is so true. My oldest son and youngest son get along the very best. My middle and youngest, fight like crazy 50% of the time. My middle idolizes his big brother, who he often refers to as, "My best friend A," but his "best-friend" doesn't exactly like the attention... since he already has a best-friend, he doesn't feel that he needs two... plus, "brother's can't be best-friends!" He finds the attention "annoying." There has to be a point in time when this shifts and they actually start liking to spend time with each other... right? Perhaps around age 8? Oh God, please let it be age 8!! But seriously, I thought that having boys, although busier, was suppose to be less dramatic. I'm kinda thinking this isn't true.

One thing though... when it matters most... you can see the love. They are very empathetic with each other. If one of them is hurt, the other is right there, making sure that he's okay. My oldest takes care of the little ones when we're in a parking lot, or grocery store, keeping them in line and making sure they don't get out of sight. If Baby O falls down, S is running to me to get me to help. But don't you dare think about playing with that truck I was thinking about playing with yesterday... that could cause World War III.

PS - update from the plague... the house has been decontaminated and everyone is feeling great! :)

Should I stay, or should I go?

A funny thing happened today. Well, not so funny to my DH, or my kids, but I couldn't resist sitting back in my office chair, grinning (let's hope my DH forgives me for this - sorry hun!). Anyhow, I went to the office this morning... first time since last Thursday when the plague struck my house. I'm working away, enjoying being fresh and clean and drinking my Dbl Dbl 1/2 decaf from Tim's, when the phone rings. I look, "oh, it's home... should I answer? yeah, okay." My DH is on the other end of the phone and says, "my worst nightmare just happened!" Oh? What's that? "I've got two kids puking at the same time, in different rooms!"

Well, first of all... that was kind of a silly thing to do. We are on day seven of the plague, he should know by now that you can't leave anyone in a room by themselves for more than two minutes at a time!!

I pondered... "should I stay, or should I go?" I really thought it would be nice, if I were the one at home, to have someone there to help me. But then I realized... you know what? I lived that dream by myself yesterday (although kept them both in the same room together), I think I'll just stay put until I know it's safe to go back home. For a moment I felt like a bad wife/mother... but I got over that pretty quickly.

I had only planned on working until noon anyway so I finished up what I needed to do, packed up and went home. By the time I arrived, DH had everyone in bed, napping! Phew!! He left and went to work and I vegged on the couch until they woke up... which was a really long time... but much needed.

As a working mom, I always feel guilty that I'm not the one here with my children every day and often find it hard to "let go" of the authority when my DH and I are at home together... it's a control issue of mine, I guess. After today, I realized that, you know what? It's okay to let go... sometimes.

:)

ahhhhh... the end of the day...

I made it! A full day of sickness and none of it got on me!! Phew! Baby O still wasn't feeling well at the end of the day but S was doing much better. I finally got some liquid Tylenol into the baby and he went to bed at 5pm... hopefully for the night! The poor little guy tried to sleep today, as you can see from the "photo of the day," he wasn't keen on his bed. He kept saying "I not sleeping, I just close my eyes!" Okay... 5 minutes later, he was passed out. So what does Mommy think would be a great idea? You got it... I picked him up to put him into the closest bed... BAD IDEA! "WHAAAA!!! PUT ME BACK!!!" And do you think he would go back to sleep after that? No way! He was ticked-off!

However... his older brother did not let this aggravation alter his intense game of Mario Kart. I swear, the house could be burning and the kids would say, "can I just play one more game?"

We have resorted to hiding the Nintendo DS for days at a time... claiming that we do not know where it is. It's terrible when you have to lie to your children but OMG! You would think we were asking them for an organ, when we ask them to turn off the game. Honestly, they'd probably donate one without question so long as they could hold their games while we prep them for surgery. O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D!!

Every Sunday, we have "electronic free day." This is not well received initially, but by the end of the day, the kids (and mom) are doing okay. They seriously go through withdrawal for the first two hours... and I have a headache from all of the whining. I seriously think there should be a NDS support group. Or, maybe we parents should not give in to their every request and forgo ever buying the video games to begin with! Tough Call! Some kids can live with or without them... mine are addicted.

So, "electronic free day" has to be spent doing things either outside, or is spent playing with toys that are not battery operated or plug into the wall. Our 7 y/o often tells us that we can't turn on the lights or use the hair dryer either because that is using electricity... I have to draw the line at the hair dryer!

When I was a child I used to hate it when my mother would say, "when you grow up and have kids of your own, you'll thank me!" That made me soooo angry! Now, I understand what she was saying. Hmmm... funny how that happens.

Fabulous Find!

Having three sons has it's moments. Today, I've had many of those moments... actually, I've had a few since last Friday at 2 a.m. My oldest son, A, woke in the middle of the night, vomiting and the works! Lovely. The virus has now made it's way through all of the kids. Baby O got struck at 1:30 a.m. Monday, and S lastnight at 11:30pm.

I have spend 50% of the day going back and forth between my two youngest sons, holding our large blue popcorn bowl under them to catch the flow. 45% of my day has been spent cleaning up when we "missed" (including needing an extra shower because Owen got me... and was at eye level when it happened! Blugh!) So what have I done with the other 5% of my time? I Googled "puke bucket" and this is what I found! It has become the highlight of my day!

http://www.smileyme.com/barf_buddy_bucket_puke_bucket_vomit_car_sick_child.asp

It's amazing what people come up with... I honestly think this is really funny and a must-have for all families.

FYI - our large blue popcorn bowel will not be used for popcorn, ever again!

Off to meet the SLP... and the magic of Ronald MacDonald.

An eventful day was had today. S met the SLP (Speech Language Pathologist) for the first time. When we arrived for our appointment, we were in an unfamiliar parking lot... I didn't think he was going to get out of the van at first but we then saw another child getting out of a nearby vehicle so this enticed him a bit. We proceeded to the building with a little hesitation. Once inside, S was obviously nervous... he really didn't know what to think of this new place. He spotted a large stuffed tiger and wanted to play with it but it was in another room so I said, maybe once the lady comes to talk to us, we can ask her if we can go see it. He didn't like this answer and wanted to leave. Thankfully, a few moments later, we were escorted to the room where we were to have our appointment. I mentioned to the SLP that S thought the Tiger looked like fun and she brought it to the room with us! This wasn't what he wanted initially but warmed up to the idea after a few minutes.

Props go out to the SLPs and all that they do to make kids feel warm and welcome. In a matter of minutes, S was laughing and playing... you would think he'd known this woman his whole life! He wouldn't say anything to her at first but soon was playing along, not realizing that the games were meant to encourage his vocabulary. He didn't say any words but did repeat the alphabet sounds when prompted. They played a game where he got these little wind-up bumblebees for repeating what the SLP was saying... he was enjoying this and ended up with about 10 little bumblebees very quickly... they then moved on to green caterpillars. He lined them up on the Tigers back trying to see how many he could get on before they fell. It was pretty funny... he was enjoying it. The SLP tried to get S to say "open" and "more" several times throughout the appointment... he said "o" and "p" but that was it. He would not say "more" but did say the "m" sound.

I promised S that after the appointment we would go to the MacDonald Play Place to play on the big slide and have lunch. He had a lot of fun when he was able to play inside by himself but when other children came in and wanted to play, he didn't like this... he quickly decided that he wanted to leave. I tried to encourage him to stay in and play but he would not. Had his older brother been there, or another friend that he knew, I think he would have been fine but he just didn't want to play with the kids that he didn't know. When we were getting ready to leave, we went to the washroom to get cleaned up for the ride home. I asked him if he needed to use the washroom because we had a long drive back home and at first he said no. I asked again, knowing that he was tired and would possibly fall asleep and was hoping to avoid a "potty" accident. He looked down at the floor and said, "poop!" OMG - I have never been so happy to hear the word "poop" in my entire life! After all that we went through with the SLP and him not saying anything to her, we go to visit Ronald MacDonald and he comes out with POOP! At this point, beggars can't be choosers! I'm happy with that word! It seemed almost too easy though. After weeks of not being verbal, once in a while, he'll say a new word. We've been trying to play the "one new word a day game" but most of the time, it doesn't happen. Poop???

In our initial consultation appointment last week with the SLP she had mentioned a couple of terms to us: (1) Elective Mutism, and (2) Verbal Apraxia. I have googled both, and Verbal Apraxia does not seem to fit the mould... but I'm no professional. We'll just have to wait until the assessments/tests are completed to see if either fit this situation. What a whirl-wind.

Stepping Stones...

I feel so much better today than I have in a really long time. Yesteray, my DH and I met with a lady from an organization that helps with behavioral therapies, etc. They are putting together a team of professionals to help with my son's lagging skills. His speach has improved a bit. He is saying all of his letter sounds and will say "mama" and "dada." The journey is slow but seeing progress is wonderful. His temper tantrums are minimal... lasting only 5-10 mins... and I wouldn't even call them tantrums anymore. He likes to huff and puff and stomp off to his room. He's pretty dramatic... it's hard not to smile when he's doing this. He will be assessed by each member of the team and then we will start intensive therapies. The therapy will last 5 days/week from 9am-noon until he is ready to begin Kindergarten. I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of this... but it apparently works very well. I talked to local professionals who have been involved in this program and they speak very highly of it. It sounds a bit exhausting to me but I guess it wouldn't really be any different than him going to the babysitter every day.

We have two meetings, one Friday and one on Monday which will help us understand the process more. I was so relieved to have met the Director of the program yesterday. She seems like a wonderful, caring person. It always makes it easier when you feel that the people you are talking to, understand where you are coming from. After the next two meetings, we are going to look at getting a cat-scan or MRI completed so that we can rule out more medical issues. We need to see if the non-verbal communication is a result of "elective mutism" or "apraxia." New words to google!!

I will update again once we get more information on the program... until then, I will continue to play the fridge phonics game. We've also started a "one new word a day" game... it seems to be going pretty well... two days in and we have "mama" and "dada"... we'll keep our fingers crossed for today.

Will a pet really help?

Okay - everyone keeps telling me to get S a pet. Really... do you think so? I know that pets can be therapeutic... but... I have three kids to clean up after, I don't know if I can handle a pet as well! Maybe a cat, they're pretty self-sufficient. We'll have to see. The kids went to visit their grandparents house a few months ago... they had 10 fish. The kids named them after all of the characters from Super Mario Brothers... between you and me - they all died! I don't know what we'll tell them when we go to visit next time. They'll be very upset to hear that Mario, Luigi, Bowser, Yoshi, Toad, Princess Peach, Wario, Waluigi, Daisy and Boo are gone! That's my biggest fear. What if I get Spencer a pet and it dies? OMG! I'm not sure he could handle that!

So, thanks to a very good friend of mine, I'm feeling better today! I can't imagine going through life without my friends to help "bring me back to reality." You know who you are... checkin' my blog every day! I feel like Heather Armstrong. BTW - go to www.dooce.com, Heather is so funny... not sure when I'll hit the $40K per month mark but if you start inviting all of your friends to visit my blog, it may be sooner than I think!! Ha! Just invite the ones who don't know me... I live in a small town. My neighbors don't all need to know my business - just every other person on the Internet.

So, my DH and I spent the morning swatting black-flies in an attempt to assemble a trampoline for our three boys. We need a way to tire them out so they'll sleep better at night. I'm hoping this does the trick. It wasn't too big of a job... I can see it being a little annoying having to tear it down in the winter and put it back up again in the spring. I think we need to move somewhere that we could just leave it up all year long. Somewhere sunny and hot! Near a beach. That'd be great.

Well, I just had clients cancel on me so I think I'll take the rest of the day off... kinda seems like I might not be working anyway... considering what I'm doing at this very moment! Just don't tell the Boss! She's not been in the best of moods lately! :)

Results, more tests, and headaches

Monday, May 11 @ 2pm, my son was seen by the paediatric neurologist, I am some-what relieved that she was able to give us some insight on the past 3.5 years and brings much of it into perspective, as well as gives us hope for the future.

The results of the first EEG came back fine but we have to go back for another in hopes that he will sleep this time. The Dr. wants to see if he is possibly having seizures while he is sleeping. Apparently something not uncommon. We also have some other tests to be completed and therapy's to begin which will help our situation dramatically.

A diagnosis is not going to solve anything... we just need someone to help show us how to help this little boy so that he is given the chance to succeed in life and develop to his full potential. I am hopeful that he will get through this and he will live a happy life.

ABC's and 123's

Day 2 of step one went well. Lastnight after supper, S wanted to play his DS (remember that it was taken away yesterday morning for inappropriate behavior). When he wanted to play it lastnight we said, "if you say DS, we will give it to you." And so it began again... but this time, there was only whining! Hmmm... progress? I think so! We were consistent with our offer and didn't give in.

On our refrigerator, we have a Leap Frog "word whammer" and all of the letters of the Alphabet. S loves this and can spell his name without any help. All along this journey of "no talking" he has consistently said "E" and "A" while brushing his teeth at night. We thought that we might try getting him to sound out other letters of the alphabet. He hasn't given in to this until lastnight. When were trying to get him to say "DS" in order to get his game back, I then went over to the refrigerator, put the letters D and S together and said, "S, can you tell me what these letters sound like?" He shook his head. I tried again... "S, what does and 's' sound like?" Gosh darn it, he said "sssss"! Wooo Hooo! Okay, one down... one to go. What does a D sound like? Eh, uh! No way... again... "what does a D sound like?" What did he do? He did it!! Oh my god, I think I'm going to pass out! Way to go S! He got his DS back and was thrilled!

Now mind you, although this is a great accomplishment... I don't want him getting used to just sounding out letters to get what he wants. But it's a start. Next time, he'll have to say DS in the proper manner.

This morning, he wanted two "yogurt drinks." He had already had one, so in order to get the other, he had to say "please." He wouldn't and therefore didn't get it. But... he didn't complain, he just walked away.

The mind is a strange and wonderful thing... the psychology of all of this is really intriguing me (among many other not so intriguing emotions). It's also amazing though, just how much will-power one little person can have. I can't wait to see what we can accomplish today!! I'm so looking forward to a break-through! Slow but steady...

Psychologist vs. Psychologist

(A photo of my son when he gets what he wants... he would grab the camera and break it if I tried taking a picture of him when he was not at his best)

So, of course this is bound to happen... the more people you talk to, the more conflicting information you receive. How does this help? It doesn't. It just confuses you even more.

I got a call back from the Clinical Psychologist that I emailed and left a message for last week. We spoke over the phone at length about my situation with my son and his "non verbal" behavior. I had sent him an email to get him up-to-speed before I actually spoke with him. Sometimes it's easier to write than to keep explaining things over the phone. Anyhow, he believes that we need intervention asap! Yeah! Although it would normally be SEPTEMBER when I could get an appointment to see him in person, he is going to work on some things for me and we will correspond through email and over the phone until he can find a spot to fit us in. Sooner than September. Hearing this, kind of makes me relieved to know that I'm not the only one who is facing difficulties... there are other people out there who know what I'm going through and can support me through this journey.

In our lengthy 2 hour telephone conversation, the Dr., who admittedly cannot diagnose without seeing the child, gave a couple of possible scenarios. Which is basically what we have been discussing in the past. I said to the Dr., "I don't necessarily feel that we need a diagnosis, I need to know how to deal with this behavior and how to help Spencer with coping skills." He agreed that a diagnosis only puts a label on the matter and we still will have a lot of work to do. He is devising a plan! Thank Goodness!! Step one though is this:

• We have to make it more beneficial for S to use his "words" because right now, he doesn't have to! We are at his beck and call 24/7... unless it's something we truly can't figure out... we play the guessing game, all day long.


• We reward positive behavior (with a high-five or a tickle).


• If he asks for something (ie. treats) we give it to him... if he asks for more - we have to ask him to say one word (ie. candy or please) in order to get it. If he doesn't say the word, he doesn't get it. This way, he gets something, but he also realizes that he could get more if he uses his "words"

To the average person... this sounds pretty simple. But, try living in a house with a chronically inflexible, explosive child and see how easy it is. Temper tantrums will come at the expense of not getting that second piece of candy and it's not always easy to keep your composure.

Now, a lot of what the clinical psychologist told me was not necessarily going against what Dr. Ross Greene says in his book, but challenges some of it. I'm going to stick with whoever gives me the most help, which at this moment, is the clinical psychologist.

We tried the "one word" scenario last night. At snack time, the boys had snacks and juice. Afterwards, Spencer wanted chocolate milk in his sippy cup while we read the bedtime story. I told him that if he said "milk," I would get it for him. No way! He pointed and grunted for the chocolate milk again... I repeated myself... "KABOOM!" Needless to say, the tantrum only lasted 10 minutes! Not the usual 20-45 mins. I told him that I would still read him a story but he just had to say "milk" in order to get the milk. Still not a sound. So... we read the book and went to bed.

This morning, S wanted to take his DS to the babysitter. My husband said, "If you say DS, I will get it for you." (whine, cry, whimper) The pointing continued, more urgently this time. My husband repeated himself again... "KABOOM!" After about 10 mins, my husband calmly picked up my son, his shoes/coat/hat, and walked him to the truck to go to the sitter. He says that about a mile down the road, he stopped crying and was fine going into the sitter's house.

The key to all of this, I know, is for us to be consistent. And it's easy to be, so long as we don't have our other two boys, wining, crying, whimpering at the same time as well... this causes my hair to stand on it's end!!

For now, we'll stick with step one. I will say that I have never encountered such a strong-willed little person in my entire life! I wonder where he gets it?