If you were my friend and I had a nasty son, would you tell me?

That's the question of the day!

I have this acquaintance/friend who has a son in A's class (we'll call him johnny), who although comes from a very good family, is one of those kids that you just don't want to force your kids to hang around with. On a number of occasions, A has come home saying that he has been hit, had his sweater thrown in the urinal (GROSS!!), and has been called names.

In my eyes, johnny is a ruffian. He doesn't know his boundaries. He's whiny and likes to be the leader of the pack.

Initially, we thought, "he's gone through a lot of changes in his life lately which could result in challenging behaviors." But now, it is becoming apparent that he's just a nasty kid!

However, his mother is not naive to his behaviors and often says to me, "if you see johnny doing something he shouldn't be doing, please tell me!" But do I? Really? Would she really want me to?

This little boy tends to lean towards the more aggressive children in the class to play with but the mother wants him to play with the better behaved "good" kids... but the better behaved kids don't want to play with him! She thinks that if he plays with the "good" kids, he'll be converted. I'm not so sure!

I had a discussion with another mother who is in the same predicament as me. We feel badly but our boys are adamant that they DO NOT want to play with this little guy... so what's a mom to do?

If little johnny came from a different upbringing, I would have no problem telling my son to "stay away from him!" But because he "is who he is" it's hard. And because I know is mom and know that she is trying her damnedest to get him to comply... it's even harder!

I've told A that he doesn't have to play with johnny if he doesn't want to and that if he does anything to him that he shouldn't, be sure to tell the teacher or tell me.

Then, the little johnny's mother calls with a personal invitation for play dates and birthday parties.

Oh the joys of parenting!