Mental Health Intake

Today was our first "official" visit to Mental Health for S's Intake. The morning started off kind of rockey as he didn't want to leave the house at all. After some persuasion and bribery, we got out the door. When we got to the office, he didn't want to go inside so I had to carry him in. Once inside, we were able to get him to relax and look at some pictures on the walls, etc. When we were notified that the mental health worker was ready to see us, we proceded to her office. Down the long corridors, I had to carry S as well... he wasn't budging. Inside of the office it was very serene and inviting. Very homey, not sterile like the hospitals. It was very comforting. It took a few minutes but Spencer very quickly warmed up to the situation and started playing with the wooden train set.

We spoke with the mental health worker, we'll call her Ann, as S played. The whole intake process took about an 1.5 hrs. I guess I was hoping that we would get some answers from this but the only thing we did find out was that the information that Ann gathered today would be presented to a team of mental health professionals, who would then assess whether he should be seen by someone on a regular basis. They do however have a wait list! Surprise! Don't they all!! You can pay out of pocket for professionals, ie. child psychologists, etc., but mental health services are free... therefore, wait lists are very long. The severity of the stituation will determine just how quickly you get to see a professional. I'm sure that there are other children on this list with much more severe situations than ours, so who knows when we may get a chance to see someone! Everyone talks about how terrible it is in the US to not have medicare, but OMG!! To live in Canada and have to wait for 1 - 2 years to see someone?? When you are in a situation where all you want to do is help your child and figure out what is going on with them and you have to wait that long, it kind of defeats the purpose of being proactive and nipping things in the bud before they get any worse! I'm certainly going to look at other alternatives and possibly pay for private help!! We do have additional insurance coverage that would help cover the costs of any additional help... thankfully. So now I am on a journey to find someone else who may be able to help us. Child psychologist, psychiatrist, anyone!!

If this is all a big game for S... there has to be a reason for it. I read this analogy the other day.... Children love to stand at a lake and throw rocks into it because they see that their throwing rocks creates an effect and it's something that they can control - they see a big splash in the water. When children see that their actions create an effect with their parents, ie. temper tantrums, certain behaviors, etc., it makes them want to do it even more because it is something that they can control and they are getting a "splash" out of their parents. Whether it be attention seeking behavior or what have you, they can see that they are controlling this situation. I have tried ignoring the fact that S isn't speaking to anyone, I've tried discipline, I've tried bribery, I've ignored again... I've tried to get someone else to look in on the situation and help me learn how to deal with it - help me help him!! I feel like the brakes keep getting put on and we are not getting any results! We can't keep moving forward because we keep hitting a brick wall!! Just when you think you're finally able to talk to someone and you repeat the behavior that's been occurring for the last two months or more, to, what feels like, the 20th person - NOTHING! You leave feeling like you haven't accomplished any more than you would have if you just bury your head in the sand and pretend that nothing is going on. I'm disturbed by this!